Hired to be Fired
According to the BBC today, Harrods – the legendary London department store – has been sold to the Qatari Royal Family’s investment company.
Stories of the great retailer are many and varied. This is my favourite from the 1960s. It may be apocryphal. I hope not, because it demonstrates a genius for providing customer service and understanding customer value.
The best job in Harrods was The Man Who Was Made an Example Of.
He spent most of his day in a small office at the top of the building, drinking tea, doing the crossword and some light filing, waiting for the telephone to ring.
He’d usually get one call a day. Occasionally two.
When it came, the voice on the other end was always a Departmental Manager, summoning him urgently.
At once, he took the lift to the appropriate floor and made his way to the said Department. In this case, China and Glass.
There he found the Manager placating a customer.
“Johnson,” the Manager said, with a groveling gesturing towards the customer. “Do you know who this is?”
No, said The Man Who Was Made an Example Of, shaking his head while examining the carpet.
“This is Lady Dowager Fortescue-St Clair. Lady Dowager Fortescue St-Clair is one of our most important, valued customers. As was her mother, the late Lady Dowager Fortescue-St Clair.”
The Man Who Was Made an Example Of bowed slightly. He knew his place.
“Her Ladyship recently came into our emporium and bought a Royal Dalton, 48-piece dinner service as a wedding present for her niece. She asked for it to be delivered. That, I believe, was your responsibility.”
The Man Who Was Made an Example Of acknowledged that it was.
“Well, you can imagine the distress we caused Lady Dowager Fortescue St-Clair when the said Royal Dalton 48-piece dinner service arrived, was examined, and found to be a Royal Dalton 47-piece dinner service. Plus a broken gravy boat.”
The Man Who Was Made an Example Of agreed that this must have caused considerable distress. The Departmental Manager continued:
“The cause of the broken gravy boat was you, Johnson. It appears that you had not wrapped it properly, thereby committing it to a damaging fate. What do you have to say for yourself?”
The Man Who Was Made an Example Of humbly apologised, now looking at his shoes. But the Departmental Manager was not finished:
“This is not the level of service our customers expect from Harrods, Johnson. And certainly not the level of service we should provide to our most valued customers like Lady Dowager Fortescue-St Clair. Therefore, I want you to go immediately to the Personnel Office and collect your cards. Your slap-dash approach shows that you are not suited to a career with Harrods. Good day to you.”
On cue, the Lady Dowager tried to intervene, and said that dispensing with Johnson’s services was rather harsh, and that his apology was quite enough.
“Your Ladyship’s benevolence does her great credit,” said the Departmental Manager, rubbing his hands together like an anxious undertaker. “But it is Harrods’ policy to provide the greatest care and attention to its customers, and Mr Johnson has failed to do so. We cannot risk it happening again, and I can only apologise on behalf of the entire company for this slipping of standards.
“Johnson! Why are you still here?”
At which, The Man Who Was Made an Example Of took himself off to the Personnel Office. Or rather, went back to the lift, rode to the top of the building, and returned to his small office, his tea, his crossword and his light filing.
And awaited his next telephone call.
