Mar 282009

I have been unable to verify this story, but it has good provenance from a reliable source.

Singapore. 4PM on an unusually cool afternoon. The fire alarm sounds in a large office building when almost all of the company’s 500 employees are at work.

As usual, the entire building evacuates within 3 minutes. Staff congregate at designated points in the car park. Cigarettes are smoked, gossip exchanged.

loudhailer Nothing happens for a while; there is no evidence of a fire. Young women wish they had brought a light sweater. A few man start jogging on the spot.

The tannoy coughs into life, and the firm’s Security Officer reads the following statement:

“Dear employees, with melting heart I am making this announcement.  For many of you, this will be your last fire evacuation drill.

“Due to the recession the company is laying off almost fifty percent of staff. When you move back into the building many of you will discover that your swipe passcard will no longer give you access to the office.

“If you are among those laid off, go home and all your belongings will be couriered to you tomorrow.

“The management is taking this approach to save on overloading the email system with layoff notifications and goodbye messages and also to avoid any violent outbursts inside the office.

“I hope you have a nice career ahead … please move forward and try your card.”

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